I have had medium to long hair pretty much since my high school mullet grew out with one exception… In about 1999, I decided to get a short short hair cut. Something like this:
I grew it right back out. Seven years later, I had Kaitlynn in 2006..
Long long long… I got aggravated after a while because I was exhausted with a new (sick) baby and it was always in the way.. At some point I went to a more medium length and in the last 9 years I have rocked between medium and long.
Honestly, I can only think of a few times I have worn it down. So that’s my hair history.
In August of 2015, Kaitlynn decided she wanted a pixie cut like ‘Tris’ on Insurgent. Everyone initially wanted me to say no, but I wanted her to be free of my hair hang ups. I wanted her to see a haircut and try it with no fears! So I said of course you can and explained if she didn’t like it how we would have to work to grow it back.
I mentioned wanting a haircut too.. (I’ve wanted a short cut for a few years but I’m fat and don’t think it would look right. I’ve also been experiencing headaches for several weeks straight, which is what really made me think more seriously about this change.) I began talking to mom and my sister… Waffling, agonizing over what to do..
Friday, we jokingly told mom on the phone that I was getting it done and she gave Kaitlynn tips on how to handle my crazy meltdown after….
That night, I was looking at my daughter and knew I would get a haircut no matter how horrific it would look. I would do it with no tears, no anxiety attack, no fear showing, and I would give it my all to like it afterwards. I would, however, choose a stranger to do the cut so that I could inwardly hate her forever when/if I didn’t like it hehe!
I can not teach her to go unafraid into this world if I can not lead by example.
I can not teach her hair is just hair! Have fun! It’ll grow back! If I do not lead by example.
I can not teach her anything if I do not lead by example… Always!
That was Friday night… Today is Sunday and I am sporting a very new do.
I handled the experience with smiles, jokes, some ‘I must be crazy’ looks at my daughter to get a laugh, and even some serious disappointment with the back which the young lady messed up dreadfully (no pic, don’t ask lol). When Kaitlynn stopped today, hand on hip, and said ‘Mama your hair looks really cool’, I knew it was a parenting win… And worth the loss of every inch of hair!
No more headaches, no more pain, no more waffling, no more agonizing…
And most importantly no more fear now that my daughter’s very presence forced me to cut off all my hair!